Fish girl?
Sailor, no. Shark, no. Being a fish, considering myself a fish. Seeing myself as a fish girl makes me smile.
We were working at Boycott Café and I asked Sergio: if you had to describe me with one word, what would it be? He told me to wait for me, he was writing something on his computer. I did not wait, the word would be fish.
My name is Angelica Cano. I was born and raised in Mérida, Yucatán, a city for which I never felt attached, not even now that I am far away. I honestly don't know why, but I'll try to figure it out in the following words:
It could be that the spaces I inhabited with my grandparents matter more to me and those spaces would be their houses, not Mérida.
It could be that I don't have good memories associated with the word Merida, my mind turns only to bad experiences.
It could be that my happy memories take place on the coast and not in the city, and my mind does a comparison exercise in which it dismisses Mérida as a happy place.
It could be that I look at what is closest to me, in the places that I visited and that I made my own, those places would be my kindergarten, my primary school, my secondary school, high school a little less and university almost nothing, but never Mérida. The German park, the brisas park, the ramps. The sports Benito Juárez, the Kukulcán. I see them as separate entities, places that gave me great joy and brought me closer to the best people in my life, but I don't consider them Mérida.
Mérida is troublesome for me, it is not that white, safe, beautiful and cultural city that most people talk about. Many times I judge myself for thinking this way, for not feeling love for the place where I was born. Whether I want to or not I am what I am for walking its streets, for eating its food, for being from there.
But don't get me wrong, let me explain better, I love my roots. It is Mérida as an institution, as a government, as a general thought that repels me, however I celebrate my Yucatequés with great pride, I adore that my language is soaked in Mayan words and expressions, I will always prefer my hammock to any bed, every October I yearn eat gdp, and I truly miss Yucatecan shellfish. Well they say that there is nothing like home, and there yes, there my home is the Yucatecan coast.
I am that girl who lived every Easter, summer and every vacation that came her way at the beach. My body got used to staying wet and salty, walking barefoot, being bitten by mosquitoes, sleeping between the sea and the sea, the sea at sunrise, the morning sea, the afternoon sea, the beach at night. There was no point in bathing if in a while I would go swimming in the sea again, and that's how I grew up. Breakfast cereal and straight to the sea. It was my reason.
Over time I was able to find a way to go to the beach more and more often. I no longer had to wait for the holidays or for my parents to want to go. I began to move on my own, by bus, in a friend's car, in a group, or alone. Passing through, or seasonally, whenever I wanted. So I became a fish girl.
